pounding heart!

When i opened my email, i got a message from ECFMG telling me that my Step CS exam result was ready. Teng was asleep already and i just got off skype. Ielle was busy preparing for her fun trip with you and iola. I clicked on the link and i had to pause for a moment. My heart was pounding so bad i could feel the pulse up to my abdomen. Throat was super dry and all i could do was take shallow breaths. In that moment i hoped i'd always remember the feeling so i could call it up whenever i'm studying for the other steps. The dread. All these people standing in faith for me, praying. Whenever i pray for the result, i keep asking God for a favorable result more for the sake of those who prayed. I could handle failing if it was just me knowing but breaking it to the people who supprt you, ay, how i dread! I clicked on the link and closed my eyes. When i finally looked, the page contained explanations about the exam which i barely skimmed through and there at the bottom of the page were 4 boxes with the precious words PASS PASS PASS PASS. For every criteria that needs to be passed inorder to pass the Clinical Skills exam. I woke up teng with trembling hands.

Thank you for praying for me and for supporting me all the way. Even though you were the first person who said there was a difference in me when i told you how the exam went, i still knew i wasn't able to do my best thus everytime people asked how the exam went, i couldn't look them in the eye, i just mumble, we'll know by April. Apart from the grace of God and His intervention due to the weight of my prayer warriors, failure was what i expected. I hoped, deeply hoped to pass but my heart knew i didn't deserve it. Still the love and strength of God supercedes my shortcomings. Praises! Praises! Gratefulness! Joy!